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Thank you

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Yes, I understand that this time of year everybody seems to say that they are thankful. I am. Truly, I am thankful.  For life, a warm (or cool) house to live in, friends that care, family that bugs me (!)and at the same time are very good to me and the ability and freedom I even have to write this.  Thank you to those in my life, past, present, little, lots…thank you!    You are treasures.  When I was 20 I was diagnosed with ankylosis spondylitis. Sounds crazy right?    It’s arthritis…specifically tied to the HLA-B27 gene. Of which, my Dad also has. 6-8% of the population has this…I’m lucky like that.    It has taught me a lot actually. Pain management, empathy for others who move slowly or painfully and a reliance on God. He walks with me in this, definitely thankful for that.  So when I was 20…I remember saying ‘if I feel like this now, what will I feel like in my 50’s?!!’    Apparently in my mind, arthritis was a thing all 50 year olds had….who knew?!   Now I’m in my 50’s…and throug
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SummerTIME

Summer time is the best.  There seems to be a vibe that I like.  People take time.  Time to work, time to vacation, time to swim, time to picnic, time to gather with family and friends.  Time. Over the past few years; I feel heavy that I have NOT taken time.  To be with people, to listen and just to enjoy those around me.  I'm not sure if that is 100% true but that is what is in my heart so to me there is truth in it.  Forgive me.  The past two weeks; I have been wrapping up some work that I've been doing remotely (and a bit locally in Sacramento) for several years.  And as much as it hurts to be 'done' with all of it; there is some release to it as well.  So no more remote work for Europe or onsite in Sacramento as of July 31 (today).  I already miss the people and connecting weekly but I know they will find others to do the work and move it all forward as it should be.   My heart and mind needs to focus - focus on God, others and what/where my gifts/skills may be used
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2020–open heart journey and miracles

I’m on a plane!     It’s almost like saying ‘I’m home!’     Crazy right?    One year and 79 days since my last flight..when I was coming ‘home’ to California. I had an English Bulldog and 3 bags to my name then—and it was good.  I struggled that first month—re-entry after living in Budapest for 6 years was a bit rough. But then I got to travel to a few churches and share what I had been doing, and the ministries I was honored to be a part of and it was therapeutic. Verbal processing—it helped!   I came back to Sacramento and life resumed—in COVID normal. My early mornings were on Zoom with my remote work in Europe followed by work here in California. All good—and we got into a rhythm of sorts. The expected return trip to Europe for summer camps, work etc pretty much disappeared.  Summer brought heat and a routine check-up for my heart murmur I’ve had since birth. The cardiologist said we probably needed to get a second opinion, possibly an exploratory procedure etc. Ok...let’s do it. B
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'I don't know' translating into good change....(?)

I DON'T KNOW Do you ever play Jeopardy with Alexa?  I must admit I’m not that good at it. However, I do NOT like to answer ‘I don’t know’ . When I do, it makes me angry actually but I guess I am the one that could improve my trivia knowledge so it’s within my control. Up to me... But I’ll tell you what—control is what most humans want. The instinct is so strong...even toddlers want to ‘control’ their world...their toys, the food they eat and nap times (preferably no nap) etc. I feel like we are NOT in control of this COVID-19 — China may be coming out of it but I don’t think ‘the world’ has control of it.  Leaders are not big fans of ‘I don’t know’ either. Have you heard any leader say those words?  Variations perhaps such as ‘not certain at this time’ or ‘yet to be determined’, but we like CONTROL!  And even more, most humans take comfort in the fact that somebody is in control. Unsettling times and yet.. I find myself fascinated with what is to come !  Actually quite curious wh
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January adventures—India!

Tuktuks, checkered headwear, beautiful saree dresses and more! Let me just say this—India is a trip. Sooooo many people. I was fortunate to be there last year for a conference but didn’t get ‘out’ much. This year fortune repeated itself and I was able to experience a bit more! I met a local guy in Delhi and we had adventures galore!    We went to see palaces...one guide said it would be 40 minutes....TWO HOURS later...:). We listened and learned.  I wanted a train experience in India so the next morning we got up way too early and headed to Agra where we saw the Taj Mahal. The King of the time had 14 wives..his 14th wife died and he built this as a tomb for her. She never saw it!    Sad. It was ah.maz.ing. Very beautiful.  As we were taking an Uber to ‘the Taj’...the driver offered a full day...he would take us everywhere...3 sites plus lunch and to the train station to return. Ok...easy...$25 deal!   So we did..Taj Mahal (my ‘guide’ got in free), Victory City and Agra (r
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Numb, hope and Mom

December 29, 2019 I have no idea as I’m writing this the last time I posted to my blog. A long time. I usually say—and will again life is good but God is way better. Still true in my mind, heart and life.  But today I’m thinking of my Mom. On this day 4 years ago my Mom passed away. I was there. I can hear the sounds, smell the smells and taste the salty tears like it was yesterday.  I see and hear of other people’s grief. And all I ever know to say is my heart hurts and that it is numbing. We are human after all and we die. Those that die...go on. At least I believe strongly in heaven and hell. Those that stay on this earth...go on somehow. Walking numbly through stuff that needs to get done. It kinda sucks.  And then I go back to my beliefs and I do have hope. I do have hope in tomorrow, in God being right next to me—walking, talking—even carrying me sometimes. When I’m numb, maybe He isn’t carrying me but sometimes I break and then He carries me.  So this week
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A 'normal' day in the life...

Some people ask what a ‘normal’ day looks like for me.     Not sure I know how to answer because the last 3…no, almost 4, months have flown by me- crazy!     I’m not quite sure if I know who/what/when/where – but I DO KNOW that life is good, and God is waaay better. So – today – woke up really early because Dude decided he was hungry at like 4:00 in the morning and he sounds like a baby dinosaur when he’s in my room and cannot get out (door was closed due to guests being in the house).  So, I fell back to sleep on the sofa after he settled down.  Not so bad…got up eventually (not a morning person) – checked emails, breakfast, read etc…9:30 SKYPE.  That’s a big part of my life over here…SKYPE.  We live and work all across Central Europe so our main communication is via technology….a beautiful thing J .  That SKYPE created a few things that had to get done administratively so I took care of those and then left to meet Edina with Salvation Army.  We went out to the streets today…ser
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