2020–open heart journey and miracles

I’m on a plane!  It’s almost like saying ‘I’m home!’  

Crazy right?  One year and 79 days since my last flight..when I was coming ‘home’ to California. I had an English Bulldog and 3 bags to my name then—and it was good. 

I struggled that first month—re-entry after living in Budapest for 6 years was a bit rough. But then I got to travel to a few churches and share what I had been doing, and the ministries I was honored to be a part of and it was therapeutic. Verbal processing—it helped!  

I came back to Sacramento and life resumed—in COVID normal. My early mornings were on Zoom with my remote work in Europe followed by work here in California. All good—and we got into a rhythm of sorts. The expected return trip to Europe for summer camps, work etc pretty much disappeared. 

Summer brought heat and a routine check-up for my heart murmur I’ve had since birth. The cardiologist said we probably needed to get a second opinion, possibly an exploratory procedure etc. Ok...let’s do it. But first, a nephew’s wedding in Seattle!  Good times with family. 

Exploratory procedure showed 3 issues —nothing emergency but needed addressed. A few more appointments and I was on track for open heart surgery to replace my aortic valve and other repair work as a result of this valve not working properly. 

So let me just say right here—it was a big deal to me emotionally, spiritually and physically. Emotionally—I have amazing people surrounding and supporting me. Spiritually—we had a prayer/anointing time on Zoom—30’ish people from various areas of the world gathered to pray. It was beautiful and encouraging to say the least. Physically—I tried to listen to the doctors—not to overdue etc. I think at times I ignored that and other times took full advantage!  Balance of the two?  Maybe not so good:)

The date was set—Monday before Thanksgiving. One person was allowed in the hospital with me..Bob (brother) said he would come so that was great news. Susan (sister) would come upon my release for that first part of recovery that is crucial..thankful for that as she is a nurse (RN) plus all kinds of other medical/research related letters behind her name:). Friends/church arranged meals, my cousin would come for my second week of recovery at home and I was ready. 

Since my surgeon was congenital (my murmur/issue was since birth) the only delay would be a baby born with heart issues that was unexpected. Guess what?..yep!  A sweet baby was born and my surgery was moved. (The baby did great in surgery from all reports). 

Ok—reset. By this time nobody was allowed in the hospital so Bob cancelled his trip. Susan’s husband got COVID earlier in November so that was all sketchy too. And my cousin wasn’t coming because that was Christmas week!   Hmmmmm...

December 7th came and the surgery was happening. Expected 5-7 days in the hospital. 

And let me just say right here (again) it was all miraculous. Surgery went well—I didn’t need any blood transfusion (good sign when on heart/lung bypass) and my recovery progressed really well too. Surgery on Monday—I was released on Friday night. Miracle really!  Annnnnd—Susan was cleared to be there upon my arrival so she and Deanna (my friend—where I live in Sacramento) greeted me at the pick up area!  

Now—honestly?  Those days in the hospital are pretty much a blur to me still and that first week at home is too. All I know is that we had meals, I received gifts, messages, cards, flowers—-I was well taken care of and loved. 

I will say, I did have one night when I panicked for some reason. Lying in bed is fine but trying to get up was tricky—hugging a pillow and rolling out of bed...try it!  Anyway—somehow I reached for the bell that friends gave me (for exactly this purpose!)— Susan and Deanna came running. I was just stuck—they helped me but it took some time to calm down—Susan stayed with me—was present with me. It was beautiful. I slept. 

Susan left and I rested a lot, was able to lift 5 lbs now but not raise my arms so life went on pretty well. Christmas was in Sacramento—talking and Zooms with family. Deanna’s family invited me to join them so that was a gift. Pretty low key for me but it was perfect for healing. 

Time went by, I was walking all the way around the block, taking showers with somebody waiting outside (just in case), taking rides for blood tests sitting in the backseat and just healing. My scar?  It’s there!  I see it more than others apparently but feel it too. 

Six week check up—had an echocardiogram and all looked good—I can drive!  So life was returning to normal—ISH. I did start back to work...it was all remote work anyway right?  But I felt like I was about 70-75%. Looking back—I wonder if I was really ok to work but I guess people were (still are) patient with me. 

The recovery expectation is..3 months—feeling more normal, 6 months—100% and 1 year—just a memory. 

But between the 2-3 months is where I struggled. I felt like I wasn’t strong enough and wasn’t recovering well—I just wasn’t happy with where I was physically which messed with me emotionally and spiritually!  Thankfully—a friend had invited me to the beach. Her family member shares it and it is RIGHT on the beach. We took walks, bike rides and I fell asleep in the lounge chair.  It was great for my body AND soul!

I came home and COVID hit our house—so I tested and it was positive. Ugh. I was worried but thankfully (???!!) I’m on immune suppressant meds for my arthritis that I was diagnosed with at age 20 (gotta love that gene pool) so my symptoms were quite mild. 

Then I hit that three month mark and it was like my body truly came out of its hibernation/healing time. All of a sudden I could walk/work being less winded and felt more like ‘me’!! 

And now here I am...almost 5 months post surgery and doing well. 

I have and treasure the cards sent/given to me during recovery—blankets/shawls made that I enjoy daily and you know it.........life is good—God is still waaay better!  

Do I notice differences?  Yes—I can hear my new mechanical heart valve sometimes...others can too apparently:). I get sweaty like normal (another gene ‘gift’?!) but I don’t over-heat like I used to. We’ve had some warm days here in Sacramento (low 90’s) and my body just reacts differently than last year. Also—I sleep sooo well. Less (if any) waking up through the night for sure. I’ve been told my snoring isn’t as loud/extreme either:). Oxygen flowing easier through my body apparently is a plus!!!:)

So all this to say that this year has been truly miraculous in my life. And today I’m home—in an airplane!!!  So maybe some words/writing came back to me. We will see if it continues. 

Thank you for reading, caring and being present with me!